We all hope our lives can be somewhat perfect. Everything we do – we want to do it in the best way possible, and to the best of our abilities. However, most of us also understand that everything cannot always go according to plan. Flaws and errors are also an important part of life. This understanding helps us achieve inner peace and stay positive even when things are not going our way.
So, does this mean that striving for perfection is a bad thing? Well, not necessarily. In fact, healthy perfectionism is often seen as a positive trait that keeps you motivated and working towards your goals in life. However, this very same trait can turn your life into a never-ending test. To understand how perfectionism may be ruining your peace and happiness and how therapy for perfectionism can help you, first, it is important to understand what it is.
What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism can be described as a need to be perfect at all times. It entails the belief that it is possible to achieve ultimate perfection in life. You can think of it as a personality trait that is characterized by the need to strive for flawlessness. People with perfectionism set very high-performance goals for themselves.
Now, that doesn’t sound too bad, does it? While it may seem like a positive trait, most people fail to see how perfectionism may be holding them back from success.
The problem is that perfectionism is also accompanied by critical, self-assessing behavior. Moreover, it is important to understand that perfectionism is not the same as trying to be your best. It is a need to be perfect. When that’s not possible, people with perfectionism beat themselves up over the inability to achieve their goals. What they fail to realize is that the goal may be unattainable to begin with! Regardless, unhealthy critical self-evaluation leads to problems like low self-esteem and even depression.
Perfection is prevalent in high-achieving professionals!
Perfectionism is a downward spiral of dissatisfaction. People with perfectionism are never fully satisfied or content with where they may be in life. Their need to be perfect keeps them running from one goal to another. As a result, they are often able to achieve some or most of their goals, which is why perfectionism is more prevalent in high-achieving professionals. Regardless of what they achieve, this often isn’t enough to keep them satisfied for long and can lead to an unhappy life.
All in all, the long-term effects of perfectionism can be devastating! However, there’s no need to worry if you think you struggle with perfectionist behavior. With therapy and self-awareness, it is possible to live a fully satisfactory life. This is why therapy for professionals and therapy for high-achievers are popular ways of avoiding the negative aspects of perfectionism. With therapy, you can use this trait to improve your life in a healthy way!
Now, that doesn’t sound too bad, does it? While it may seem like a positive trait, most people fail to see how perfectionism may be holding them back from success.
The problem is that perfectionism is also accompanied by critical, self-assessing behavior. Moreover, it is important to understand that perfectionism is not the same as trying to be your best. It is a need to be perfect. When that’s not possible, people with perfectionism beat themselves up over the inability to achieve their goals. What they fail to realize is that the goal may be unattainable to begin with! Regardless, unhealthy critical self-evaluation leads to problems like low self-esteem and even depression.
Different types of perfectionism
Since perfectionism has positive as well as negative aspects, it is often characterized as a multidimensional characteristic. There are different types of perfectionism. Let’s take a look at them:
- Self-oriented perfectionism: Self-oriented perfectionists expect themselves to be perfect. They will set very high achieving goals for themselves and then be super critical about themselves if they fail to achieve those goals.
- Socially prescribed perfectionism: Socially prescribed perfectionists believe that they are expected to be perfect. They are not extremely self-critical, but they believe others will judge them if they are unable to fulfill high-achieving goals. These perfectionists have low self-esteem and self-deprecating behavior.
- Overt perfectionism: Overt perfectionists fear failure more than anything else. If they feel they may fail at a job, they will avoid it at all costs. If they don’t perform the job, they can’t fail and stay perfect. They fear failure and crave control.
- Other-oriented perfectionism: Being extremely critical of other people’s performance, these types of perfectionists are never fully satisfied with the people around them. They have impossibly high expectations of others and criticize them when they don’t perform accordingly.
- Covert perfectionism: Covert perfectionists can be hard to identify. They have low expectations of the people around them. Outwardly, they prefer to be average. However, internally they wish to succeed.
Are you perfectly miserable? Learn how to deal with it!
If you think you are struggling with perfectionism, you are not alone. The number of perfectionists is on the rise all around the world, especially among the younger generation. It is noted that young people hold irrationally high standards about how they should look, their personal and academic achievements, their possessions, etc.
If this is ruining your peace of mind and keeping you from leading a happy life, it may be time to seek help. It is also important to understand that your need to be perfect may be the very thing that’s keeping you from achieving success. It’s time you look beyond perfectionism and turn your life around. I can help you learn not only how to deal with perfectionism but also how to use it to your advantage.
Here are some methods that you can learn with me to battle perfectionism.
Attaining self-awareness
Attaining self-awareness is the first step in managing perfectionist tendencies. The journey to leading a happy and satisfying life starts with getting to know yourself better. I can help you understand your behavior. You will learn why you do what you do, why you can’t let go of faults and errors, and how you can better your thoughts and actions.
Gaining an alternate perspective
People with perfectionism often struggle with fixed perspectives. They see life as a race that they must win at all costs. However, gaining an alternate perspective may be the solution to the problem.
Healing early wounds
Perfectionism often arises out of conditional parental love. Whether intentionally or unintentionally parents can make children feel they’ll be loved only if they behave a certain way. This can later manifest in the personality as perfectionism. I can help you get to the root of the problem. From there, we will work together to battle perfectionism.
Enhancing self-confidence and self-worth
Low self-esteem, self-worth, and a lack of confidence are some of the negative aspects of perfectionism. I can provide evidence-based skills to help you tackle these issues. You will learn how to practice mindfulness to live in the moment instead of worrying about succeeding in the future or beating yourself up about your past errors. We will also work on clarifying values to help you assess the most important things in life. Finally, through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), you will be able to alter negative thinking and control how you react to situations.
These are some basic steps that we will explore together to help you get rid of perfectionism. Don’t let the illusion of a perfect life keep you from happiness. Remember, therapy for perfectionism, especially therapy for professionals and therapy for high achievers, is highly effective. Don’t lead an unsatisfactory life when you can be truly happy!
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It’s time you take control of the situation, find the root cause of your perfectionism, and target the underlying problem. A better life is just around the corner. So, seek help today and allow me to help you lead a life full of love and happiness!