Most relationships come with periods of amplified tension, discord, and crisis. Even in ideal times, managing a relationship can be trying. The majority of couples could use a little guidance now and again.
Regardless of the reason you are seeking couples therapy –money, parenting conflicts, or work demands intruding on your relationship – I provide a fresh perspective to help you communicate constructively, secure your attachment, and overcome hurdles. You can build the skills to nurture your relationship for a lifetime.
Couples Therapy/Marriage Counseling in Chicago
After helping hundreds of couples strengthen their relationships, I have found that once you identify the specific problems in your relationship/marriage, and pinpoint what you want your partnership to be, it becomes possible to make the dream a reality. Creating meaningful, lasting change is POSSIBLE. It would be my privilege to provide you with support, tools, guidance, and hope. Please call me today.
Are you concerned about the health of your relationship?
Are you and your partner caught in a perpetual state of conflict? Do your conversations turn spiteful without reason? When together, do you both feel chronically tense as if you are walking on eggshells, waiting for your next explosive battle to occur?
Have you and your partner become disengaged or disconnected? Are you unable to recall the last time you argued, let alone were intimate? Do you feel like you live with a distant roommate rather than your beloved partner in crime?
Perhaps one of you feels like you are no longer appreciated, admired, validated, or heard. You suddenly realize your partner’s negativity, how he capitalizes on your flaws and consistently has an excuse for why he can not be there for you. The loneliness may be overwhelming.
No matter what you and your partner may be facing – I can help you
In therapy, you can expect to:
- Strengthen your bond of intimacy and renew your relationship.
- Communicate effectively with your partner to reach a resolution and engender a sense of connection.
- Learn how to avoid and manage conflict.
- Understand and change underlying patterns of negative interaction – stop repeating negative patterns.
- Learn to self-regulate your emotions and co-regulate with your partner.
- Recover and strengthen your emotional connection.
- Understand how your attachment needs may differ from your partner’s needs and heal injuries to that attachment.
Roadmap for couples therapy
- Couples Therapy/Marriage Counseling in Chicago
- Are you concerned about the health of your relationship?
- No matter what you and your partner may be facing – I can help you
- I. Assessment
- II. Feedback and creating a plan for couples therapy
- III. Ongoing sessions and tools
- IV. Progress Evaluation
- V. Ongoing Sessions: Deep Work
- VI. End process/evaluation + discharge
- Get support tailored to your relationship
01. Assessment
Determine where you each are in the relationship. What is the nature of your friendship, conflict, and regulation? What are your life dreams and shared meaning?
In this stage, you can each understand your subjective realities and what you hope to get out of therapy. Most importantly, we will build a deep therapeutic alliance as a couple and as individuals.
- Session #1: I meet with you as a couple for 90 minutes-we will talk about the history of your relationship (Oral History), identify critical issues of concern, the ways negative patterns of interaction often exacerbate conflict, and goals for treatment. I will provide you with some written materials to complete that will help us better understand your relationship.
- Sessions #2 & #3: 60-minute individual appointments. My goal is to learn and understand your reasons for coming to therapy and your feelings about the relationship. Individual sessions assess commitment, presence of abuse, history of abuse and/or betrayals, and substance abuse/psychopathology.
Following the first three sessions, I will assess your relationship using the Gottman Relationship Checkup, a full couple’s assessment.
02. Feedback and creating a plan for couples therapy
90-minute couples session. I will give you a summary evaluation of your relationship: its strengths and the areas that need improvement. The evaluation will be based on the information collected in the assessment sessions and on the results of the Gottman Relationship Checkup.
Using the evaluation as a compass, we’ll talk about creating a plan to heal your relationship. Working together, we will get you where you want to be. There is HOPE. I am equipped with tools and exercises to address and transform your weak areas.
03. Ongoing sessions and tools
Utilizing the plan we created collaboratively, we will begin therapy. Each session starts with what you bring into the session – be it a fight, the need for one, or perhaps, the emotional distance between you. Based on the ineffective patterns of interaction highlighted by the “issue of the day,” we will decide which intervention blueprint will be most beneficial.
Using the evaluation as a compass, we’ll talk about creating a plan to heal your relationship. Working together, we will get you where you want to be. There is HOPE. I am equipped with tools and exercises to address and transform your weak areas.
90-minute couples session. I will give you a summary evaluation of your relationship: its strengths and the areas that need improvement. The evaluation will be based on the information collected in the assessment sessions and on the results of the Gottman Relationship Checkup.
Using the evaluation as a compass, we’ll talk about creating a plan to heal your relationship. Working together, we will get you where you want to be. There is HOPE. I am equipped with tools and exercises to address and transform your weak areas.
What is an intervention blueprint? A “blueprint” is a scientifically proven strategy based on principles developed by Dr. John Gottman and the Gottman Institute.
We will work through your most pressing challenges. I will provide you with tools to enhance your friendship and intimacy, build shared meaning, and have a constructive dialogue about problems. I will assist you in voicing both your attachment needs and emotions. We will then dive deeper into core issues to allow genuine and lasting change.
04. Progress Evaluation
Midway through our sessions, we will do another assessment to ensure we are on the right path and confirm that you are making positive changes and seeing results. We will discuss and examine what modifications may be necessary and alter the structure of the sessions and interventions as needed.
05. Ongoing Sessions: Deep Work
In this phase, our areas of focus may be:
- Learn ways to express acceptance and compassion for one another’s attachment needs and deep emotions.
- Increase overall positivity in conflict and non-conflict times.
- Decrease negativity during a conflict discussion.
- Learn constructive ways of managing conflict that create intimacy and understanding through friction.
- Understand your partner’s point of view
- Build and maintain your friendship, intimacy, and positivity (play, humor, affection, courtship, romance, passion, sexual intimacy, and adventure).
- Learn how to talk to one another about your feelings and needs.
- Heal injuries of safety and attachment.
- Build and maintain a system of shared meaning
- Intentionally create informal and formal rituals of emotional connection.
- Utilize new communication styles to talk about old problems and learn new solutions.
- Learn ways to use skills practiced in therapy outside of the sessions and develop a plan to make new interaction patterns a consistent part of your life after treatment.
06. End process/evaluation + discharge
Toward the end of our time together, we will do a final evaluation of progress. Some couples find extra sessions beneficial. However, most couples reach their goals within 15-25 sessions. My goal is to give you the tools and knowledge to repair and maintain your relationship on your own after couples therapy is over.
Please schedule a free consultation today or call me at (312) 899-1120
Get support tailored to your relationship
Your relationship is unique, just as each person in the relationship is unique. In therapy, I do not use a one-size-fits-all approach. You can expect therapy tailored to your needs and your relationship.
I am a member of the Gottman Referral Network, and I use the Gottman Method extensively. As needed, I also draw from Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and from other approaches. Where needed, I may suggest sex therapy or individual counseling to help one or both partners address issues that may be damaging the relationship.
To take the next step, contact me now for a consultation or give me a call.
